My competition for my mans attention was fierce so I stepped up my game and won.

(I have many more posts to add to the blog about specifically how I solved this problem, I will add them if I get comments asking me to post more, ie showing interest. Otherwise I will not) 

I was tired of my man ignoring me and the children. He wasn't being responsible. My whole world was suffering because of it.. He would waste almost all Saturday on sports and most of Sunday. He would play hours and hours of video games. Sex happened sometimes but it was more of a sparkler than an fireworks show. My kids played by themselves without the attention of my husband. This had to stop.

My college psychology training made me realize he was getting pleasure out of his behavior and that is why he was acting that way. I really stopped and asked how I could get into that loop. Other people had done it. Football, video games had all changed his behavior for their benefit. How could I get him to take pleasure in acting in a way that was good for me and my family just like advertisers, video games and professional sports had taken control of his behavior. I needed him to be a better provider and pay attention to me and the kids.

Chemicals and electrical impulses were coursing through his brain when he acted out these behaviors and he was hooked on the pleasure he received. I was competing with video games, the Internet, sports, and his friends for his attention. They were all providing him with pleasure. Most of them had a well thought out plan to make his behaviour benefit them. Where was my plan? I had none.  In most cases the competitions plan was designed by professionals. They were using pleasure. However when I tried to change his behavior. I could scream, yell, talk, reason with him but none of that would help long term. They were using carrot, I was using a "big stick". The advertisers knew just how to do it. They had reprogrammed him.  His behaviors were now hard wired in. They were reinforced over time until he acted out the behaviors without thinking about it. I could bend him back a bit by throwing a fit or having a talk but he would soon bend right back.

I then realized I had to think this through. I have to realize how he become this way. I needed a game plan just like the advertisers had. They were deliberate. He had gotten that way through stimulus and response reinforced over long years. In his brain he had connections between "bad" (bad for me anyway) behavior and pleasure. The behaviors were not really bad but they were bad for us as a family. He wasn't the man I had hoped for. The behaviors took up a lot of his time. How could I use stimulus and response to rewire him into behaving constructively just as the advertisers had?  The things I wanted him to do were not linked to pleasure like those bad behaviors were. When we were dating he was highly interested in pleasing me, now he wanted to please himself. My response to the bad behavior was to complain. I was using a big stick. Dolphin trainers never got a dolphin through a hoop by beating them.  I was in a competition with professional "men trainers" providing the pleasures he now enjoyed. The pleasures were the carrot in front of the donkey that made him go. What about me? could I provide a carrot instead of a lash? Could I get the donkey to go my way and pull my cart in the direction I wanted? Could I provide him more pleasure than my competition? Could I compete? Could I find out how to link good behavior to pleasure like football and the advertisers had?
 
Thank God I found I could provide him more pleasure than my competition ever can.

That is IF I competed.  If got in the game and had a good plan I could win!

Step up your game Noob!

The days of letting other competitors operate without competition was over! I was going to stimulate his pleasure receptors and link them to positive behaviors.  I had to win. I had to have a plan. Video games wanted his money and time, so did sports, They had a plan. The Internet had covered almost all the pleasures including porn, games and socializing. There were even dating sites out there tailor made just for affairs! The competition was fierce.  I had to become fierce. They had a plan, I had to have a plan! This man is mine and not theirs. My kids need his attention. I need things done!
 
Thankfully I can touch him is ways that the competition can not. They provide pleasures but I can provide more. I can provide things they can not. They don't have the tools I have naturally. They have to reach him through sight and sound. I could reach him by touching him physically. No computer or sports game is ever going to reach down his into pants. As a female I am biologically imprinted on his mind as the top of all pleasures. I have all the visual and sound stimuli and tactile as well. I am smart, creative, committed and diligent. A sports game can never rock him like I can.

I have seen men get excited by some team gaining a touchdown but I had never seen one have a orgasm over it.

 I have advantage. The female advantage. If I use this advantage I can gain his attention and gain control of my husbands time for the benefit of my family and myself. I need to link intense pleasure to the behaviors I want him to act out. Then I need to strengthen the connection by repetition.  I need to have all the variety to put on a show for those neurons. Fireworks, not sparklers. Red ones white ones, blue ones  I had the pleasure game beat. Now I had to see what he was buying. Video games and sports knew. the pornographers knew what he would buy.  I was competing with multiple types of pleasures for his behavior.  I had to search out all the options. In a supermarket would you rather shop one with 20 items or twenty thousand items? When you watch a fireworks show what is all the fireworks were just green? I needed colors.  I was going to be his rainbow. He was going to "taste that rainbow!"

It would take time and a lot of thought. I formed a detailed plan to get my man back for the good of myself and my family. I was competing against professionals who were bringing their "A" game. At first it was just a hope that I could recapture his attention. Now I know it can be done. I made some mistakes and learned a lot through the years. Now it’s fun for me, I get quite a rush form making him behave. It is for his own good. It is hard for me to see how I missed taking control of him all those years before. My competition knew how to make him behave. They controlled him.  If anyone or anything is going to control my man it is going to be me not some football game or video game. If I didn't give him pleasure linked to “good behavior”, then he was going to get pleasure linked to “bad behaviors” by people who didn't care about our family at all.  There is nothing wrong with football but it grows into something bad when it takes up so much time. My family is important and I am important. Because I took the time to  find out about my feminine powers I am my now mans primary motivation. I blew the competition away and now he is doing great. Those other pleasures pale in comparison to female pleasures.

Someones pleasures will captivate him, Why not have them be yours?

He has been a slave to video games and sports for too long. The chains of the internet have dulled his mind. If anyone is going to make him their "slave" it is going to be someone that actually loves him and is looking out for his best interests and that someone is me! Reading about these experiences may help you. If you want to read it and criticize just move on down the road. There are many more blogs in the sea so don't make waves in mine.  If you have something constructive to add in the comments section please do. I keep a sharp eye out for anything I don't like. It's my blog and were doing it MY way. I am not a professional writer just a wife that wanted her husband back. This is my experience only and how you accomplish the same goal will be different for everyone. Change it up to fit your life. The results are fantastic! How could housework excite him sexually? let me ask you this, how does a electric can opener sound make my dog come running? 
 

My hubby gets a boner when I tell him to do the laundry now. I am not kidding, he really does! My request is usually whispered in a soft tone after I get him in a aroused state. Men go from zero to sixty in just a few seconds, lol! Its only takes a little effort to get him excited thank God.  When he is excited he will say yes to all kinds of things. (let your mind wander on that bit of information)  I have seen him putting away dishes now with a knowing look on his face and a bulge in his pants!  This took repetition to accomplish and some “hard work”. It is all simple stimulus and response that is carefully timed and repeated. My dog gets all excited and comes running when he hears the electric can opener. My man is that same way. He is a mammal  after all and I have a endless supply of treats with his name on them. I have carefully researched all his preferences  (not mine)  so I alone have the treats he wants in the flavors HE loves.  My fireworks show has all the colors he likes.

Stick with me, read my whole story and apply just a few of these to start. Pick some sort of behavior you want him to do and work these techniques. See if they work, I know you will be glad you did.I will continue with more posts and give you several examples that worked for me. 

I was now a secret agent, A agent "provocateur" so to speak. I had to hone my feminine power and obliterate the competition. He really dodnt know what was going on at first. I told him I wanted to be more sexual and asked him if he was "up for that". He said that would be great. I got him stoked up a bit and said "when I get all sexual your going to give me your full attention?" he agreed. I made him promise a few times. As far as he knew if was just me trying to fool around more. After a while I told him I was rewarding him for good behavior and he was OK with that. He still does not realize all the hours I put in to analyzing him, taking notes on him and practicing my skills. I have put in hours and hours of research on the Internet and learning from advertisers what works. As far as he knows  he has a wife that likes to take care of him. 

Here is a great article. think about it in relation to your husband. After all man is a mammal like any other, just more complex. If your not going to train him someone else is gong to and all ready has.   

from: http://www.synergybehavior.com/2012/06/dog-that/

Why does my pet do that?

Have you ever wondered how your dog or cat figures out how to do what? It is because of two types of learning that they are especially good at: associative learning, and learning by consequence.

When working with companion animals, regardless of whether you are teaching obedience cues, working on tricks, or addressing complex behavior problems, understanding the way they learn will make the process easier and more successful.

Associative Learning

This type of learning is also called classical conditioning. In classical conditioning, the animal

Dog at the door. Photo by ktylerconk at Flickr Creative Commons

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makes an association between a trigger and an event. The trigger becomes predictive of the event. This relationship does not depend on what the animal does, since the trigger will always predict the event. A great example of this is your dog running to the door when the doorbell rings. The doorbell (trigger) is predictive of a visitor coming to the house (event).

One very interesting thing about classical conditioning is that emotional and physical responses can be conditioned.  For example, many people associate the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies or apple pie with positive memories. So when they smell these smells, they feel good. That’s why Realtors often have a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies during an open house, in the hopes of linking the house with positive memories and emotions for prospective buyers.

Another example: If you get a static shock every time that you try to touch a doorknob, you may become nervous about touching the doorknob. You have associated the doorknob with a zap.

Animal Examples

• The original example: Researcher Ivan Pavlov conditioned his dogs to salivate when a bell rang. He would ring a bell right before a dog was given food. The dog learned to associate the bell with the food, and would begin to salivate in anticipation.
• A cat who loves her wet food comes running to the kitchen every time she hears the can opener. This is because the cat has learned to associate the can opener with receiving the wet food.
• A dog who is scared of other dogs becomes more tense when he hears a collar jingling, because he has associated the collar with the appearance of a dog.

Use in Training

We often use classical conditioning when working with pets that are fearful  about something. We help the pet pair the scary trigger with a pleasant consequence. Soon, the trigger isn’t so scary. We also use this type of conditioning to help teach excitable pets to be calm.

Consequence-Based Learning

Consequence-based learning, or operant conditioning, occurs when the result is dependent upon something that the animal does. The consequence can be something that is pleasant for the animal, or unpleasant for the animal. In general terms:

Cats playing with a treat ball. Photo by John Wright at Flickr Creative Commons.

1. The animal does something…
2. Some consequence happens…
3. Depending on whether the animal perceives this as a pleasant or unpleasant outcome, the animal will either do the behavior more (when the outcome is pleasant) or less (when the outcome is unpleasant)…

You can experience this type of learning taking place when you smile at people.   If you smile at someone and they smile back, then you are more likely to smile at that person when you meet them again.  If you smile at someone and they scowl at you, you are less likely to smile at that person again.

Pet Examples

•  A cat who loves being petted jumps up on their person’s lap. The person pets him, which is pleasant for the cat. The cat will be more likely to jump up on a person’s lap in the future.
•  
• A dog sniffs a rosebush and gets pricked by a thorn. She is less likely to sniff a rosebush in the future because of the unpleasant consequence of her behavior.

Use in Training

Operant conditioning is used to teach pets that certain behaviors are desired or not desired. Any obedience exercise is taught with operant conditioning. For example, if you reward your dog every time she sits, she will be more likely to sit in the future.
How animals learn is in reality more complex than what I’ve described here, but understanding the basic concepts of learning is the first step to understanding. Watch people and pets around you and see associative and operant learning taking place every day.

from: http://www.synergybehavior.com/2012/06/dog-that/